Author Archives: the venomous pao

Mixing My Nerdliness (Fantasy Baseball)

I don’t normally cross-pollinate my different little nerd worlds, but tough times call for tough actions 🙂 I am the commissioner of a fairly detailed fantasy baseball league and I’ve got one (maybe two) teams that are in need of GMs for the upcoming season.

Now, just so you know, this ain’t yer daddy’s draft-n-watch kind of fantasy baseball. It’s fairly complex and immersive, complete with setting bating orders and pitching rotations and bullpens as well as having backups at each position. Every team has a $10M “cash” budget and a pool of 40 contract years to sign a full 25-man roster (plus up to 15 more players in the “minors”) during the Free Agent Blitz, which starts next Wednesday morning at 10:00 CDT and runs through the following Monday afternoon. You don’t have to be wired and glued through the whole thing, but to do it right definitely takes time and interest. I tell you all this not to scare anyone away, but it’s definitely the kind of stuff you’d need to know before jumping in.

It’s a 10 team league and 8 owners have been consistent and active for the past five years, which means I’m really looking for folks who are inclined to dig in and stick around (though there’d be no hard feelings if you try it and find it not to your liking, of course). There’s no prize money or anything – this is about playing the game, not gaming for money. That matters to some folks, but not to this crowd. If you win the league, your reward is bragging rights and pride (and the awe and envy of your fellow players). Just be warned that I myself have won the league every other year and it’s my turn again 🙂

So with that all out of the way, if any of you fine folks out there are big time seamheads and are interested in diving into the madness, let me know in the comments. I can tell you more about things away from the blog.

The Sea Devil’s Debutante (A BoL Adventure)

A Sea Devil

© Floyd Thompson, III.

Howdy folks! Our good friend G-Man, the author of the wildly popular dark fantasy Barbarians of Lemuria adventure The Unholy Greyl (40761 downloads ) has done it again! This time he takes us into the very depths of decadence and depravity with…

The Sea Devil's Debutante (30742 downloads )

The reclusive Strangtham clan is throwing a grand celebration in honor of young Clarisse Strangtham, who has announced her eligibility to wed. Many sordid things are whispered about the family… yet many of the local gentry are planning to attend the party, despite the family’s reputation. Is it because the Strangthams are known to possess a seemingly endless hoard of gold jewelry? Or just because Clarisse Strangtham is rumored to be an exotic beauty? Join the party and find out just what those creepy and opulent Strangthams are up to this time!

G-Man not only provides a delightfully dark adventure this time, but two appendices chock full of unique items and spells to make your BoL game even more deadly. All this for exactly zero dollars? Great Dagon, people! Why haven’t you downloaded it already?

A Wizard & A Warrior Walk Into A Bar…

Nope, nothing interesting here other than a couple of videos. Because I’m still wrapped up in SXSW and other stuff. Enjoy all the same…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKQ5jhtFypg

I’m not sure what frightens me more – Ozzy’s makeup in 2005 or the Wishbone Ash guys’ assorted attire in the days of yore. They’re all pretty scary in their own ways.

Traveller AR!

Alright, soldiers. It’s time to talk seriously about your future in the Imperium. Specifically, let’s discuss your plans for after you muster out. Some of you may want to look into free trading. Some of you may be in search of mercenary tickets. Some of you might just want to wander. In any case, what you’ll almost definitely want to do is put some credits in your pocket. No matter what your goals are, you should probably take a look at this:

It’s the teaser trailer for the just announced Traveller AR, which is currently being hyped at Booth 415 of the Screenburn Arcade at SXSW Interactive in sunny Austin, TX.

This is an iPhone/iPod Touch game that is being developed by actual pen & paper gamers who know Traveller and love it. Big Daddy Marc Miller is involved. As is the Loren Wiseman, who was actually hanging out at the booth today. Take a look at the site and sign up for the beta (if you happen to be the sort who has an appropriate device at your disposal, anyway – they tell me they hope to support other platforms eventually, but it’s all iLand for now). Kicking off your career with a bonus Cr1,000,000 is a good thing.

I saw a demo and this game looks sharp. I’ll be sure to update y’all when I get going in the beta (which is expected to get underway in May – just so you know the perspective in which to keep things). But seriously, do sign up for the beta. That way we can all bust up the Third Imperium in proper grognard style.

Interesting note: One of the artists working on the game used to play RPGs with Joe G. Browning of Expeditious Retreat Press. So there’s some additional old school style cred with Traveller AR.

Slow Going For A Bit

If you were following along last year (or are paying attention otherwise) you might know that the fabulous SXSW Interactive/Film/Music conference happens right about now here in lovely Austin. Since I’m (a) a music fan, (b) a geeky web nerd, and (c) looking for a job, I’ll probably be blogging less and screaming at tourists to get out of my town more for the next week or so. I might just sneak a few posts in here and there – quite possibly something interesting relating to the conversation I had at that fancy restaurant a few weeks ago – but don’t hold yer breath, amigos.

Meanwhile, here’s some Barbarians for you:

Nogoloth: The Bells Of Pnikigystros

Wherein your humble scribe presents a monster and an artifact (in Barbarians of Lemuria format) that he whipped up for his nascent Lovecraftian Fantasy setting, Nogoloth, as he continues to dither on which system to use for such things. You might note that this makes two BoL-based Nogoloth entries in a row. Make of that what you will.

In the port city of Pnikigystros, on the southernmost shore of Nogoloth, there stands an ruined church – once consecrated to St. Xavier of the Kettle, according to the few ancient residents who can recall the times before it was boarded-up and abandoned for reasons unspoken. Despite its dilapidation and lack of occupants, the bells of this cathedral still ring out at dusk and dawn on odd days – days that some claim are holy to the darker gods who hold sway over the affairs of man and beast. The mournful tolling of the bells can be heard from one end of Pnikigystros to the other, even in the fine mansions atop Owl Hill. The people of the city take extra care on these days, when bad luck and murder are in the air. Sailors refuse to weigh anchor on these days, and children who are born between the ringing of the bells are quite often sickly and haunted in appearance.

The residents of the neighborhood where the church stands – called Blacksend by those who dwell there – shun this structure, crossing to the other side of the street and spitting on the ground when they must pass by it as they hurry down Margrave Lane. In the early evening, when the blood red light from the setting sun streams through the building’s high stained glass windows and plays upon the cobblestones outside its doors, even the least superstitious folk choose a route that avoids that sullen street entirely, regardless of the distance that traversing Margrave might save.

In other places of the world one might expect that such a structure would attract the attention of curious children or, perhaps, the interest of a criminal element that might seek to take advantage of such a blighted place, to engage in their unlawful activities out of the watchful eye of the constabulary. But in Pnikigystros, one finds nothing of the sort. My own efforts to recruit urchins or footpads to investigate the church further on my behalf – a system which has proven useful in other areas of Nogoloth, as you’ll recall – have fallen upon willfully deaf ears. Once word reached the broader communities of these sources of inexpensive explorers I found that I was unable even to complete a friendly exchange with such citizens.

If not for the willingness of a certain sea captain and his crew of less-than-sterling repute I might never have found anyone to enter the edifice in question and secure for me the bronze vessel that proved to to be precisely where a particular venerable verger with a tongue loosened by various libations had indicated it would be found. That only the first mate of the Green Phoenix – a peculiar man named Crawford Fowler, whose bearing and features implied a connection to the Cwnuihd Fowlers – delivered the item to me, with a blank stare and far less interest in his payment than I was led to expect from one of his sort, is of no matter.

I must confess that even I – engrossed as I was in my examinations of the Kettle – was slightly unnerved upon hearing that the pirates’ ship – after sitting quietly vacant at the docks for weeks – was suddenly no longer moored there on the 22nd morning after the breeching of the church – a morning, one should note, that followed the tolling of the Bells of Pnikigystros.

Anthrognaath

Anthrognaath are large (2′ to 4′ long) centipedes with the faces of men. These creatures come from somewhere else, entering our world through various arcane devices that typically contain liquids, such as bowls, cauldrons and kettles. Anthrognaath are quite intelligent and often possess significant magical knowledge, but are unable to wield it in their natural forms. For this reason, they seek out sentient host beings into whose body they burrow once the neurotoxin from their bite takes effect. Once inside a host, the Anthrognaath is able to use its arcane abilities through the form it has hijacked. The process of Anthrognaath “possession” does hideous damage to the host being, who will typically survive no more than several weeks, during which time the Anthrognaath will actively seek out new potential hosts.

Attributes
Strength 4
Agility 1
Mind 2

Combat Abilities
Attack with Bite +2; d6-2 plus poison
Defense: 2
Protection: d6-2 (chitin)
Lifeblood: 20

Anthrognaath Poison
A person damaged by the bite of an Anthrognaath must make a Demanding Strength check or become paralyzed in d3 rounds. This paralysis lasts for d3 hours, during which time an Anthrognaath will invade the victim’s body, effectively killing the victim. One an Anthrognaath has so co-opted a body, the host creature will still outwardly resemble its former self, but will in fact be home to the Anthrognaath’s evil mind and powerful arcane abilities. Such unwilling sorcerers possess an Arcane Power of 15 and a Sorcerer career rank of 3.

The Bronze Kettle Of Mithathu

The Bronze Kettle Of Mithathu is a damnable relic of an ancient time. Some two feet in diameter and perpetually cold to the touch, the metal that comprises its form is stamped and carven with obscure runes which are a variant on the Star Tongue of the Elds – hard to decipher but clearly full of dire warnings and other such language designed to dissuade casual use of the item.

The possessor of the Bronze Kettle of Mithathu is highly resistant to all extremes of temperature (a Boon that grants an extra die when rolling to resist such effects). Further, all second and third magnitude spell cast by the possessor receive a bonus die when cast and their Arcane Power costs are reduced by 3 AP.

However, a darkness lingers over the artifact. Every time the Kettle is used as part of a summoning spell, there is a 1-in-3 chance that the summoned creature will immediately attack the magician who calls it forth, regardless of any precautions taken to prevent this. Further, all spells cast with the power of the Kettle permanently drain one Lifeblood from the caster. Lastly, at dusk and dawn on the holy days of the Dark Gods, there is a 1-in-6 chance that an Anthrognaath will emerge from the Kettle in search of a host creature.

BRP Characters: The Brothers Queng

Wherein your humble scribe presents a pair of NPCs for use with The Celestial Empire, the Basic RolePlaying game of life in Imperial China.

Doctor Queng Jian travels throughout Ming Dynasty China helping the people of the land with his exceptional medical skills. Jian has chosen to follow this nomadic life rather than accept an appointment as the Court Physician of a petty noble in Gansu Province, whose daughter Jian secretly loves but may never marry. On occasion, Queng Jian’s abilities draw the attention of a local magistrate who calls upon the doctor to assist in an investigation.

Jian is perpetually accompanied by his (much) less accomplished younger brother Yo, who, though a skilled storyteller, has little to show for his 22 years in the Middle Kingdom. The hulking Yo does do a fair job as a bodyguard for his brother – even if just by looking imposing to the vast majority of people the pair encounter.

Unfortunately for the Brothers Queng, a pair of outlaws knows as Flower Neck Bachelor and Earthquake Lo are actively traveling through the Celestial Empire disguised as Queng Jian and Queng Yo. Though the outlaws have yet to perpetrate anything outrageous enough to cause the Quengs serious legal trouble, their crimes have been escalating and it is only a matter of time before they cross a line that cannot be uncrossed. Unless, that is, the Brothers Queng can catch up with them and bring them to justice.

Queng Jian

Slight of build and quick of mind and hand, Queng Jian is the consummate physician. His bedside manner is impeccable and he shows the utmost respect for his patients and their needs. Jian is a serious and sober man, with a hint of melancholy about him. Jian seeks to do as much good as he can while ever attempting to expand his understanding of the scholarly arts.

Queng Jian
STR 12 CON 11 SIZ 10 INT 17 POW 16 DEX 17 APP 12 EDU 18
Hit Points 11 Major Wound 6 Qi Points 16 Age 29

Allegiances
Buddhism 2, Chinese Folk Religion 2, Confucianism 20, Daoism 0,
Esoteric Buddhism 0, Judaism 1, Islam 0

Home Region: Lower Yangzi
Profession: Traveling Doctor

Damage Bonus: none
Weapons: Fist/Foot/Head 51%, damage 1d3
Armor: none
Skills: Healing Lore 90%, Medicine 90%, Science: Natural History 63%, Drive: Cart 45%, Research 75%, K: History 75%, Science: Alchemy 55%, K: Northern China 65%, Meditation 70%, Insight 65%, Etiquette 65%, Appraise 50%, Bargain 55%, L: Mandarin 124%, Sense 40%, Spot 55%, Brawling 51%, Martial Arts: Brawling 28%, Gaming 50%, Dodge 50%, Persuade 40%, Navigate 25%, Listen 40%, Grapple 40%, Art: Calligraphy 30%, Perform: Singing 30%, Ride: Horse 20%, K: Art History 25%, K: Folklore 20%, K: Literature 45%, K: Streetwise 24%, Literacy: Chinese 51%, L: Cantonese 24%, Status 40%

Queng Yo

The opposite of his brother in every outward aspect, the boisterous Queng Yo is practically a giant among men in China. Ever since he was young, Yo has delighted in the telling of tales and he has now managed to turn his affection for the common stories into a profession capable of providing a passable income. A talented performer, Yo lacks the serious storyteller’s attention to detail and often improvises his way through the portions of narratives that he dislikes or doesn’t remember.

Queng Yo
STR 12 CON 15 SIZ 15 INT 13 POW 11 DEX 10 APP 16 EDU 15
Hit Points 15 Major Wound 8 Qi Points 11 Age 22

Allegiances
Buddhism 0, Chinese Folk Religion 20, Confucianism 0, Daoism 1,
Esoteric Buddhism 0, Judaism 0, Islam 0

Home Region: Lower Yangzi
Profession: Storyteller

Damage Bonus: +1d4
Weapons: Fist/Foot/Head 50%, damage 1d3 +1d4
Armor: none
Skills: Persuade 70%, K: Folklore 55%, K: Chinese Folk Religion 50%, Perform: Recite 90%, Art: Calligraphy 10%, Disguise 25%, Fine Manipulation 25%, Insight 70%, K: Literature 60%, Listen 50%, Perform: Sing 55%, Bargain 55%, Brawling 50%, Grapple 30%, Dodge 45%, Gaming 35%, Healing Lore 20%, L: Mandarin 103%, Literacy: Chinese 35%, Martial Arts: Brawling 30%, Stealth 25%, Sleight of Hand 25%, Etiquette 35%, Appraise 42%, Fast Talk 33%, L: Cantonese 30%, Sense 37%, Status 35%

T&T In Spaaaaaace!

Wherein your humble scribe presents an homage to a certain introspective & philosophical scifi program from the 1970s in the form of characters written up using the 7th Edition Tunnels & Trolls rules. Because he’s a very weird man.

T&T 30th Anniversary TinI’ve only played a handful of Tunnels & Trolls games in my life. And I’ve never played (or even read) Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes – which I believe to be essentially an iteration of the base T&T rules for modern non-fantasy gaming, though I could be wrong about that.

In any case, the core T&T rules seem ideally suited to adaptation for other genres, especially ones that (a) don’t benefit from an obsessively detailed combat system and (b) might appear on the surface to be exceptionally weird for RPGs (or, perhaps, ones lacking the appropriate degree of dour seriousness we’re all supposed to aim for as the avant garde, improvisational theatricians we’re supposed to be).

So from time to time the simplicity of T&T calls to me from the 30th Anniversary Edition’s little tin box I bought a few years back when a gas leak combined with an ice storm forced me and my wife to live in a hotel for a few days. And when that happens, I do weird things. Like write up several key cast members from a TV show I love as a test run for what it would be like to use T&T for a scifi game…

On September 13th, 1999, nuclear waste from Earth stored on the Moon’s far side exploded catastrophically, knocking the Moon out of orbit, sending it and the inhabitants of Moonbase Landau hurtling uncontrollably into space. Led by the noble Commander Ivan King and featuring a talented multicultural crew, these unintentional explorers of the universe will often come face-to-face with strange aliens, questions of cosmic importance, and even death itself.

Ivan King / Leader / Human / 2
STR 13 CON 15 DEX 14 SPD 12
INT 15 PSI 12 LK 20 CHR 18

Height 6′ 3″ Weight 195 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +11

Talents Philosophy 18, Piloting 17, History 18
Languages English, Others

CommKey, Laser Pistol (4d6+16), Woven TechSuit (4)

Dr. Olympia Bertrand / Explorer / Human / 1
STR 10 CON 14 DEX 13 SPD 14
INT 17 PSI 15 LK 14 CHR 15

Height 5′ 9″ Weight 150 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +5

Talents Medical 23, Dancing 15
Languages English, Others

CommKey, Medical Kit, Woven TechSuit (4)

Prof. Sigurd Ernst / Explorer / Human / 2
STR 11 CON 11 DEX 13 SPD 12
INT 21 PSI 13 LK 15 CHR 12

Height 5′ 10″ Weight 175 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +5

Talents Science! 26, Philosophy 25, Religion 22
Languages English, Others

Wealth 1,000 Cr
CommKey, Woven TechSuit (4)

Chief Pilot Kevin Tate / Soldier / Human / 1
STR 15 CON 16 DEX 14 SPD 13
INT 12 PSI 9 LK 18 CHR 16

Height 5′ 11″ Weight 170 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +13

Talents Piloting 22, Fisticuffs 17
Languages English

Wealth 1,000 Cr
CommKey, Laser Pistol (4d6+16), Woven TechSuit (4)

Game Notes

I changed the T&T character class names a bit (Citizen is now Explorer, Warrior is now Soldier) and turned the WIZ stat into PSI.

None of the characters above have any PSI powers, which is good, since I don’t have any idea (or inclination, at the moment) to figure out how to handle such things. The short answer is that I’d probably just use a selection of the T&T spells (renamed, probably) to represent PSI abilities and either tweak the Wizard class a bit to be a Psionicist class or else do away with it entirely and come up with some way of letting the psionics develop in other character classes.

If this were going any further I’d probably tweak the Explorer class to be more than just the Citizen class with a different name, but for now making the distinction between combatants and not-really-combatants seemed fair.

Oh, and I also upped the starting number of Talents to two in anticipation of the crew running into tough aliens who have significant stat modifiers. Those plucky humans are always showing up the creatures who should rightly kick their tails. Hmm, maybe Humans ought to have a mod to their LK stat? Maybe. But that’s a discussion for a different time.

T&T: Draago, Boris & Max Vs. The Hoolabees

Wherein your humble scribe, unable to focus on anything he’s “seriously” working on, presents a trio of 7th edition Tunnels & Trolls characters and a new monster for the game.

Max – the exceptionally charmless leprechaun – winked back to the camp where Draago and Boris were waiting for his report. The dwarf and elf were, as usual, bickering about whose ancestors slew what dragon and which of their kings would win in an arm-wrestling match, if it were held on the second moon at noon on a Tuesday. They were so involved in this same old discussion that they didn’t even notice Max’s arrival. So he did what came naturally and began to insult them both so deeply and profanely that we simply can’t reprint his words here. After the two quarreling warriors finally calmed Max down he began to tell them what he’d seen.

“Sure’n the tunnel’s up there. Tha’ old man in the tavern wasna lyin’ – even though he were wearing a skirt. In any case, there’s tree large hives hanging down from the cave entrance. I cold just make out a few o’ them green bees he tol’ us about. I was thinking that if we used some fire to smoke ’em out…”

“NO!” cried Boris. “We can’t use fire! We might burn the trees or scare the squirrels and bambis!”

“Oh damn you and yer damn nature,” replied Draago. “I’m not going to get stung just because the critters out here might get upset over a little fire.”

“Well, y’see lads,” Max continued, “Here’s the problem. Just as I was about to pop back over here, a right big hoor of a troll came out of th’ cave, whacked the nests and went back inside. So the bees are buzzin’ all o’er the front of the cave noo.

“What a terrible creature! Using those poor little fuzzy bees for her own evil ends!” hissed the elf.

“No more terrible than yer own Queen Silvermoonleafraindrop. I’m sure you recall your own history well enough to remember when that foul witch enslaved a full army of…”

“Right! You two! Shut it! Noo! We’re going to have to face the damn bees, lads. Rather than goin’ on and on about your insipid histories, let’s figure out what we need to do to get inside tha’ cave and get our hands on herself’s piles o’ gold.”

Draago / Warrior / Dwarf / 2
STR 20 CON 24 DEX 11 SPD 13
INT 10 WIZ 8 LK 9 CHR 11

Height 3′ 7″ Weight 300 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +11

Talents Gambling 14
Languages Common, Dwarven

Wealth 10 gp
Dwarven War Axe (6d+13), Buckler (6), Soft Leather Armor (10)

Boris / Warrior / Elf / 1
STR 17 CON 10 DEX 15 SPD 10
INT 12 WIZ 30 LK 18 CHR 22

Height 6′ 1″ Weight 134 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +15

Talents Archery 20
Languages Common, Elven

Wealth 5 gp
Medium Longbow (4d+18) & Sheaf of Arrows, Broadsword (3d+24), Scale Mail (16)

Max / Wizard / Leprechaun / 2
STR 5 CON 13 DEX 15 SPD 9
INT 21 WIZ 15 LK 17 CHR 5

Height 2′ 7″ Weight 50 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +4

Magic Wink-Wing (innate), All 1st Level Spells

Talents Persuasion 11
Languages Common, Leprechaun, 9 more

Wealth 100 gp
Shillelagh (2d+4), Brass Knuckles (2d+4), Quilted Silk Armor (3)

Hoolabee Swarm
Monster Rating: 44/ 88 / 176
Combat Dice: 5d6 +22 / 9d6 +44 / 18d6 +88
Special Damage: 1/2 Those Hoolabee stings sure do sting!
Special Abilities: Fly Me – Not surprisingly, Hoolabees can fly. Hard To Hit – Missile attacks against a Hoolabee Swarm are very difficult – double the level of the DEX save needed to hit them with such weapons.

Hoolabees are small, aggressive flying insects whose sting (which does not cause them to die) packs a painful punch. An individual hoolabee is about 1″ long and distinguished from other more common bees by the deep green “tufts” of fuzz that encircle their abdomens. The potency of a hoolabee swarm is entirely dependent upon its size.

The Demons Of Adad Untash: The End

And so, with today’s posting of [link id=’1339′ text=’the Emperor’] and [link id=’1338′ text=’his Queen’], the Demons of Adad Untash series (for Labyrinth Lord, etc.) here at Strange Stones has come to an end.

It took me nearly a year (far from uninterrupted) to bang these baddies out, and believe me, I’m spent. It’s hard work dwelling in the Halls of Dust and Darkness! I do intend to package them all up in a PDF before too long, but you can pretty safely bet you won’t see such a tome tomorrow 🙂

My next big goal is to similarly complete (and eventually PDF) the Tlactoztlan setting for Barbarians of Lemuria. I can’t promise a specific date or anything, but that’s definitely my most significant target right now. But don’t worry, Nogoloth will continue getting love, and I’m bound to keep hacking away at all kinds of other things, too. But for this one brief moment, I feel pretty good for actually having completed this series.

I’m not entirely sure how your fine folks out there can best use these demons, but I hope you do find a way to work them into your games somehow. Personally, I always envisioned that they’d be used in a more “traditional” fantasy setting (in your old-school game of choice) as something that Ye Olde Evil Wizard® or perhaps Those Wacky Cultists® might unleash upon the world. But maybe they could make an appearance in a delightfully odd Stars Without Number game? Or be found ruling over a ruined Mutant Future world? That’s the great thing about having produced them for Labyrinth Lord. There are so many places they can go with very little conversion work needed.

So if by some chance you do wind up siccing them on your unsuspecting players, I’d sure love to hear how things went down. I’m all ears… wait, that gives me an idea for a new Demon Lord! No, not really 🙂

p.s. Happy GM’s Day and all the joy and sorrow it entails.