Category Archives: Homebrew

DCC Party: A Merda Job For Patrão Ferrão

Wherein your humble scribe presents a (probably doomed) party of Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG characters and the monsters that will most likely leaving nothing left but memories of the poor schlubs.

Smoke hung thickly in the humid air of the back office. It was always humid this time of year in Porto Alego. Maximiano Ferrão hated the humidity almost as much as he hated the city itself. But business was business and though he could generally trust Anacleto to keep things running properly, sometimes the patrão had to handle things personally. And since it had been a while since Maximiano had come down from his estate, today was one of those days.

“Is there any other business that needs my attention?” he asked of his tenente. “I’d like to be back up front before that fat macaco from the guard comes sniffing around for his payoff. I want to speak with him personally this time.”

“There’s just one thing, patrão,” Anacleto Alves rasped. “It seems we’ve got a bug problem at the… warehouse… on the east pier.”

“A bug problem, Anacleto? What do you mean a bug problem? Maximiano Ferrão’s goods are not known for their bugs.”

“These aren’t, ah, normal insects, patrão. They’re big. Really big. And they… well, it sounds like they talk.”

“Merda! It’s that bruxo maldito again. Why haven’t the boys dealt with him yet? He’s bad for business, Cleto. Very bad for business.”

“The last group we sent to his condenável tower came back in a box, patrão. A very small box.”

“Droga! I’m sick of this filho da puta! Get in touch with the sacerdotes over at the church and get them on this. Clearly we need a little bit of help dealing with this. If they don’t jump at the chance to crucify a bruxo tell them we’ll make a nice donation. They could use a new bell. The old one sounds so tired.”

“Consider it done, patrão. Consider it done.”

“Good, now let me get out of this maldito humidity…”

“Ah, about the warehouse, patrão?”

“Oh, that. Send that little bicha Tiago. I don’t like how he hangs around my daughter, so it won’t matter if he doesn’t come back. Give him a couple of âncoras and let him hire some thugs who aren’t part of the family. We can’t afford to lose any more leales right now.”

“Claro, patrão.”

Tiago Duarte / Smuggler / Thief 1 / Lawful
STR 10 AGI 15 STA 7 PER 10 INT 13 LUK 9
Birth Augur: Guardian Angel (+0 Escape Traps)
HP 8 AC 11 CP 29 GP 3
Short Sword (1d6), Sling (1d4), 30 Stones, Waterproof Sack, Small Sack

Nash / Caravan Guard / Thief 1 / Neutral
STR 11 AGI 10 STA 10 PER 8 INT 12 LUK 17
Birth Augur: Four-Leafed Clover (+2 Find Secret Doors)
HP 6 AC 11 CP 26 GP 4
Short Sword (1d6), Dagger (1d4), Padded Armor, 1 yd Linen, 10′ Chain

Ponty / Jester / Warrior 1 / Chaotic
STR 14 AGI 13 STA 10 PER 14 INT 6 LUK 13
Birth Augur: Born Under The Loom (+1 Skill Checks)
HP 13 AC 13 CP 30 GP 3
Longsword (1d8), Leather Armor, Dart (1d4), Silk Clothes, Lantern

Leocádia Ferrão / Astrologer / Wizard 1 / Neutral
STR 5 AGI 12 STA 4 PER 11 INT 14 LUK 13
Birth Augur: Seventh Son (+1 Spell Checks)
HP 3 AC 10 CP 26 GP 17
Dagger, Spyglass, Large Sack
Spells: Color Spray (Gibbering Allies), Magic Shield (Demonic Voice), Ropework (Chain Casting), Sleep (Breath of Life), Ventriloquism (None)

Hornhoppers

Though they appear insectile, like 4′ tall humanoid locusts or grasshoppers, Hornhoppers are actually demonic creatures from the nether hells, summoned to this world by foul magic. They are covered in chitin marked with coruscating bands of colors and have thick, antler-like structures atop their heads.

Hornhoppers are motivated by hunger and will generally attack the least-armored (i.e., easiest to take a bite out of) individual in a party first. In addition to their bites, they occasionally wield small curved daggers and are capable of a dangerous impaling jump attack with their antlers. Hornhoppers devour flesh, bone, sinew, hair, and anything else organic that is part of a kill, leaving nothing behind.

Hornhopper: Init +3; Atk bite +3 melee (dmg 1d3) or jump/antlers +1 (dmg 1d7) or dagger +0 melee (dmg 1d4); AC 13; HD 2d12; MV 20′ walk or wall-crawl, jump 30′; Act 2d20; SP Ravenous (cannot “recover the body” of any party members left behind as long as one or more Hornhoppers survive); SV Fort +1, Ref +4, Will -3; AL C.

BoL/H+I: The Dukes’ War

Wherein your humble scribe presents some potential allies (or antagonists) in Oriad, a world he’s been messing with for a long time now, in Honor + Intrigue format. H+I, if you don’t know, is a nifty offshoot of Barbarians of Lemuria that’s well worth a look.

The Dukes’ War was a conflict that raged between the Houses of Madréz and Valdaño in the Kingdom of Ordoño for twenty years. Both houses claimed to represent the true line of royal succession after the death of Baltazar III and, after each failed to receive support in the Court of the Black Queen, open warfare was declared.

The Dukes’ War ended 97 years ago, when Emerenzia Viora of Combriazzi successfully negotiated the Treaty of Soderno, which divided the kingdom into two new countries: The Duchy of Madréz and The Duchy of Valdaño.

Recently, factions within both countries have begun reconciliation and reunification talks. Unfortunately, there are still many citizens of both Duchies that would rather see their own country achieve ascendence by force rather than achieve unification peacefully. Among these are two secret societies – The Order of the Unseen Pyramid in Madréz and The Crimson Brotherhood in Valdaño- whose assassins play against one another for the future of the Duchies in an epic game of chess.

Recently, Duke Xaime Ignacio Omero de Madréz was assassinated, by his own subjects (members of the Order of the Unseen Pyramid), for his aggressive pro-unification stance. In his stead, the Duchess Anaïs Olaria Flores y Marín de Madréz now rules. In stark contrast with her late husband, she is a staunch voice for Madrezaño independence. There are whispers in the Court that she herself is a ranking member of the Order and may well have personally handled the assassination of the Duke.

Meanwhile, Duke Alejo Ulises Prieto de Valdaño, at the urgings of some former comrades-in-arms based in Galiana, is actively pushing for a unified Ordoño – with House Valdaño in power, of course. The Duke believes that he, along with his Galian allies, can successfully challenge the Empire of Roczny for dominance of Oriad if he can command a united Ordoño.

Duchess Anaïs Olaria Flores y Marín de Madréz / Lifeblood 10 / Fortune 6 / Advantage 3
Motivation: Maintain Madrezeño Independence
Qualities: Might -1 Daring 1 Savvy 2 Flair 3
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 1 Defense 2
Careers: Noble 2 Diplomat 1 Spy 1 Temptress 1
Boons: Beguiling, Great Wealth, Membership (Order of the Unseen Pyramid)
Flaws: Obligation (Madréz), Terrible Secret
Languages: Urra Lucia (N), Ora Luccia (F)
Equipment: Dagger (d3-1)

Duke Alejo Ulises Prieto de Valdaño / Lifeblood 10 / Fortune 4 / Advantage 3
Motivation: Restore Ordoño (with Valdaño in power, of course)
Qualities: Might 1 Daring 3 Savvy 0 Flair 1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 3 Ranged 0 Defense 1
Careers: Noble 2 Duelist 1 Soldier 1 Hunter 1
Boons: Daredevil, Laugh in the Face of Danger, Friends in High Places (Galiana)
Flaws: Tragic Fate, Obligation (Valdaño)
Languages: Urra Lucia (N), Galia
Equipment: Cutlass (d6+1), Flintlock Pistol (d6+1)

Order of the Unseen Pyramid Assassin / Lifeblood 9 / Advantage 1 (L3 Retainer)
Qualities: Might 0 Daring 1 Savvy 2 Flair 0
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 0 Defense 2
Careers: Assassin 2, Alchemist 1
Boons: Poisoner, Poison Resistance
Flaws: Obligation (Order), Zealot
Languages: Urra Lucia (N)
Equipment: Dagger (d3+1), Epee (d6)

Crimson Brotherhood Assassin / Lifeblood 8 / Advantage 1 (L3 Retainer)
Qualities: Might 1 Daring 2 Savvy 0 Flair 0
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 2 Ranged 0 Defense 1
Careers: Assassin 2, Duelist 1
Boons: Sneaky, Friends in Low Places
Flaws: Obligation (Brotherhood), Unsettling
Languages: Urra Lucia (N)
Equipment: Epee (d6+1), Garrote (d2/Strangle)

BoL: Sweetly Sings The Mourning Bird

Continuing our survey of imaginary movies, which includes providing Barbarians of Lemuria stats for the main players, we turn our inner eye towards the 1997 Korean cinema classic, Sweetly Sings The Mourning Bird (애도 조류는 여전히 감미 롭게 노래). Though this film doesn’t feature any effects by Ray Harryhausen, the climax is a rather stunning sequence in which the protagonists turn their astounding martial skills against an entire army of Chinese soldiers, their general, and a 9 foot tall terra cotta warrior/golem thing. So there’s that, which is good enough for us.

The central narrative of the film follows the journey of young An Do-Keun, from his humble beginnings as a blacksmith’s son in rural Korea through his rise to the heights of the martial world. His master is a grouchy old swordsman whose skill with the blade is rumored to have accomplished many great feats but who is also responsible for the death of a woman who was once the Chinese Emperor’s most beloved concubine.

We find out, via flashback, that the woman in question was actually some kind of supernatural assassin sent by the Lord of the Underworld to murder the Emperor and pave the way for evil eunuchs to rule China. A brief scene involving a many-tentacled puppet (whose strings you can barely see) illustrates the battle, but there’s not much time spent on this portion of the story.

In any case, the Emperor is a rational man of modern thought who never believed this tale, and he banished Sook (then called Lu I-po) to Korea, where he is no longer able to exert influence in the Imperial Court. Hold that thought – it’s important, but it will take a little while to get back to.

Twenty years later (according to the on-screen text), the drunken, irascible swordsman has taken the name Sook Seong-Kim and done his best to vanish into his new country. One winter day he stumbles drunkenly into a town that is under siege by Chinese soldiers disguised as bandits – just as the town’s blacksmith is coldly murdered because he won’t surrender the blade he is crafting for the Korean emperor. In a flash, Sook’s inherent nobility returns and he makes swift work of the rabble with only a stick, a rake, a hammer, and finally the still steaming sword the blacksmith had been working on. The sword sequence in particular is stunning and amusing as Sook is perpetually tossing the blade from mittened hand to mittened hand to avoid burning himself.

In the aftermath of all of this, the blacksmith’s young son – our previously noted protagonist, of course – begs Sook to teach him how to be a great warrior so that he can protect his country and never allow another boy’s father to die. Sook, disturbed that the people responsible for this tragedy were his own, takes the boy under his wing and begins training him. A musical montage follows, naturally, and in the span of 3-1/2 minutes of Korean pop (sung, it turns out, by the actor who plays An) the boy becomes both a man and a master swordsman in his own right.

The two swordsmen, young and old, travel about Korea for an unspecified length of time, righting wrongs and defending the populace from the depredations of bandit, pirate, and the like. On one of their adventures they wind up taking on a new companion, the Sadie Hawkins-esque Pak Myung-sun, a barbarian woman from the north, who serves the dual role of comedy relief and love interest. Pak chases the affections of An relentlessly, but he doesn’t fall for her. We’re privy, through a sequence in which the old master accidentally sees Pak emerging from a hot spring, to the knowledge that the woman isn’t as outsized as she seems in her dirty quilted armor (though she is still definitely not a small woman – think Kirby’s Big Barda here). Sook keeps this knowledge to himself, though.

At one point we cut back to China, where we learn that the old Emperor has gone senile and the country is now in the grip of a military coup lead by the exceptionally large and evil General Kwan. The General is, of course, under the influence of a small cadre of eunuchs who are clearly in league with the forces of Hell who were thwarted by Sook/Lu in the prologue. Kwan, at the urgings of the eunuchs, is on a path towards invading Korea in the name of the Emperor and plans for the invasion are revealed in small pieces. Reports of the “great Korean heroes” punctuate the briefing, with Kwan starting to piece together that Sook/Lu – his own old master, we learn in a flashback – is involved.

Back in Korea, our heroes have a few more little adventures, with each one revealing a bit more of the Chinese plot to invade Korea. Soon after, the invasion (and the heart of the story) begins at last.

In short order, we reach the climax of the film, wherein the Chinese army, led by Kwan and assisted by the giant clay warrior golem, face off against Sook, Pak, and An. An spends much of his time routing the soldiers, while Sook engages with Kwan and Pak leads a small force of brave Korean warriors against the golem. Things go fairly poorly for the Koreans initially, and Sook is defeated and left for dead by his old pupil. An then engages with the General, wild with anger and grief over the apparent death of his master/second father.

Across the battlefield, Pak’s cadre has been defeated by the golem, leaving only her and her large axe standing between the creature and the Korean Emperor’s palace. She fights valiantly and ultimately bests the creature, but not before suffering a number of grievous wounds and being almost completely stripped of her bulky, padded armor in the process. This does, conveniently, reveal her to be the far more beautiful woman that she actually is. You can see where this is going, I’m sure.

We cut back to the showdown between An and the General, whose battle has escalated into epic territory, with flying leaps and sundered trees and all of the over-the-top stuff you’ve been built up for based on the flashbacks showing what these two swordsmen’s master was capable of in his prime. The CGI and wirework in this sequence is serviceable, but to the modern eye it definitely seems a bit dated.

Needless to say, An winds up winning. Sure, there are a couple of teasing moments where it looks like he will fail, but really, they wouldn’t have made the movie if that were ultimately the case. His father’s last sword does shatter at one point under the powerful and unrelenting blows of the General, but even that is not enough to stop the great hero.

The real heart-rending drama comes in the aftermath, when it’s unclear if Pak will pull through, choking and gasping as she confesses her undying love for An. The young hero cradles her in his arms, tears streaming down his face as another love song (again, sung by the actor who plays An) swells to accompany a montage sequence of Pak being treated by physicians and slowly but surely recovering.

In the end, of course, everything turns out fine, with Pak and An marrying and becoming legendary heroes of Korea. We are shown a glimpse of their future, about a year later, with a prosperous farm, two beautiful twin children, and An hammering out a new sword on his father’s anvil.

Ah, but what of the seemingly defeated Sook? Just as you think there’s a giant hole in the script, An picks up the still cooling sword from the anvil and tosses it, steaming, through the air where is it caught by none other than Sook’s charred-mittened hand. The old master smiles, nods at the happy couple, and mounts a horse to ride off into the sunset. Westward, to China, to finish cleaning house.

Sook Seong-Kim (Lu I-po) / Lifeblood 11 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 2 Mind 2 Appeal 0
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 3 Ranged 0 Defense 3
Careers: Warrior 3 Physician 1 Scholar 1 Vagabond 0
Boons: Swordsman, Carouser
Flaws: Distrust of Sorcery
Languages: Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese
Equipment: Sword (d6+1), Very Light Armor (d3-1)

An Do-Keun / Lifeblood 12 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 2 Agility 2 Mind 0 Appeal 1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 3 Ranged 1 Defense 2
Careers: Warrior 1 Blacksmith 2 Scholar 1 Merchant 1
Boons: Attractive, Swordsman
Flaws: Feels the Heat
Languages: Korean, Cantonese
Equipment: Boon Sword (d6+2), Very Light Armor (d3-1)

Pak Myung-sun / Lifeblood 15 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 3 Agility 1 (0) Mind 0 Appeal 1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 1 Melee 2 Ranged 0 Defense 3
Careers: Warrior 1 Barbarian 2 Pirate 1 Thief 1
Boons: Attractive, Hard-To-Kill
Flaws: Country Bumpkin
Languages: Korean
Equipment: Great Axe (d6+5), Medium Armor (d6-1)

General Kwan / Lifeblood 14 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 5 Agility 1 (0) Mind 2 Appeal -1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 2 Melee 2 Ranged 2 Defense 2
Careers: Soldier 3 Torturer 2 Warrior 1 Scholar 0
Boons: Swordsman, Poison Immunity, Cerulean Strength
Flaws: Arrogant, Ugly & Brutish
Languages: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean
Equipment: Great Sword (d6+7), Heavy Armor (d6)

Chinese Soldiers (Rabble) / Lifeblood 3 / Hero Points 0
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 1 (0) Mind -1 Appeal -1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged -1 Defense 0
Careers: Soldier 0
Languages: Mandarin
Equipment: Swords or Spears (d6+1), Medium Armor (d6-1)

Giant Terra Cotta Warrior / Lifeblood 30
Attributes: Strength 4 Agility −1 Mind -2
Combat Abilities: Defense -1 Protection d3
Attack with Sword +1; d6+6
Attack with Fist, +0; d6+4

WNMHGB Character: Lieutenant Hamaré Negasi-D’Abo

Wherein your humble scribe knocks out a lifepath generator-produced character for the Trek-themed, Microlite20-powered, Where No Man Has Gone Before. Because he’s geeked out about seeing the next Star Trek film this coming weekend, that’s why.

Hamaré Negasi-D’Abo was born on the frontier world of Balthaz II, in the midst of her mother’s research to devise a cure for the Garrosh Fever, which was plaguing a number of Federation worlds at the time. Before Hamaré was two her mother had returned to Earth where she continued her scientific pursuits in relative safety while Hamaré’s father, Negasi Haile-Mariam, served in the Ethiopian parliament. Hamaré’s childhood was typical and she had many friends while growing up.

Her early Starfleet career was almost singularly without incident, with her time at the Academy and her first tour of duty – spent stuck behind a desk pushing papers – yielding nothing of the sort of adventure often associated with the active and exciting life she expected when she enlisted.

Just as Hamaré was finishing her second tour and thinking of leaving Starfleet to pursue a career in private research, she was involved in the Tre’gok Klasq incident of 2329. It was Hamaré’s keen instincts and insight into behavior patterns that helped to uncover the Klingon spy, thus preventing numerous civilian deaths.

Upon her promotion to Lieutenant Junior Grade Hamaré was assigned to the Constitution Class USS Constellation, serving under Captain Esai Hernandez. In her first tour aboard the Constellation the ship found a mysterious alien device orbiting Dannav III. Once again, her quick thinking, empathy, and communications skills proved critical to saving the day and preventing the destruction of the ship.

Her second tour aboard the Constellation was highlighted by an assault on the ship perpetrated by Klingons. Hamaré was key to the successful handling of this incident and her commanding officer, the Vulcan T’Madh, realized at this time that her young protegé was capable of greater things than merely serving as a sensor monitor and data analyst. It was T’Madh who recommended Hamaré for her new postion, aboard the Miranda Class USS Rio Grande. T’Madh maintains active contact with Hamaré and serves as something of a mentor to the newly-minted Lieutenant.

Lt. Hamaré Negasi-D’Abo / Human / Blue Shirt (Science) 6
XP 0 HP 34 AC 14 AP 3
STR 11 (+0) DEX 12 (+1) INT 16 (+3) CHA 14 (+2)
Skills: Communication (T) +9, Engineering +4, Knowledge (T) +9, Medicine +4, Physical +4, Subterfuge +4
Talents: Behavioral Analysis, Trained Skill (Communication), Empathy, Exploit Weakness, Plan
Melee Attack Bonus: +6; Ranged Attack Bonus: +7

BoL-lywood: Prince Rajinder’s Adventures II

Speaking of the late, great Ray Harryhausem, everyone remembers the time that he did the jaw-dropping animation of the four-armed (and four-breasted!) elephant-headed Rakshasi, Bulusu Sunita Kal, in the classic Bollywood fantasy flick Prince Rajinder’s Adventures II, right? No? Well, that makes since, given that it never happened and there was never such a movie. But since we already play pretend all the time, let’s do a little meta-pretending and act like there was such a movie and we all remember it, ok?

So… the climactic showdown scene, which happens after brave, handsome Rajinder has done a little song & dance routine about how he will live forever in the love of the beautiful Princess Kathindra (even if he dies while rescuing her from the wicked sorcerer Bontu Bhavsar) while fighting off a dozen or so thuggee cultists armed with aruval swords and throwing chakrams, features the prince fighting a desperate battle against the aforementioned Bulusu Sunita Kal and her four massive tulwars, which she wields both offensively and defensively.

Just before he enters this battle, Rajinder manages to shatter the iron bonds that hold Kathindra helplessly to the evil magician’s altar by throwing one of the cultists’ chakrams (using multiple ricochets and delivering huge sprays of sparks, of course). This frees her to face Bontu Bhavsar and keep him from interfering with Rajinder’s desperate struggle against the demon.

And who can forget the absolutely amazing comedy relief portions of this scene, which are delivered by Rajinder’s loyal friend, the Monkey Prince Candraprabhava, and his acrobatic antics displayed while keeping the rest of the Thuggee foot soldiers occupied?

After the battle is won (and of course you knew it would be), there are, like, four more song & dance numbers, most of which aren’t worth remembering. Except the one where Candraprabhava interrupts his comedic romancing (chasing, really) of the princess’ sisters, attendants, and every other female on screen other than Kathindra, to urinate on the head of Bontu Bhavsar, who for some reason is being held in a dungeon cell directly beneath the main room of the palace (thus being tortured by hearing the celebration song – along with suffering the “monkey shower” – through the iron grate that is just above his head and out of his reach). One can only imagine the trouble he would have caused if only they had made a third installment.

Prince Rajinder / Lifeblood 11 / Hero Points 6
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 2 Mind 0 Appeal 2
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 2 Ranged 2 Defense 1
Careers: Noble 2 Warrior 1 Bard 1 Thief 1
Boons: Attractive, Marked by the Gods
Flaws: Arrogant
Languages: Hindi
Equipment: Magic Scimitar “Gururatna” (d6+1), +1 to hit; Bow (d6); Very Light Armor (d3-1)

Princess Kathindra / Lifeblood 9 / Hero Points 5 / Arcane Power 12
Attributes: Strength -1 Agility 2 Mind 1 Appeal 3
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 1 Defense 3
Careers: Noble 2 Sorcerer 1 Bard 1 Dancer 1
Boons: Attractive, Power of the Void
Flaws: City Dweller
Languages: Hindi
Equipment: Bichawa Dagger (d3)

Candraprabhava / Lifeblood 12 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 2 Agility 3 Mind 0 Appeal 0
Combat Abilities: Brawl 2 Melee 1 Ranged 0 Defense 2
Careers: Noble 1 Thief 1 Tumbler 3 Scholar 0
Boons: Keen Eyesight, Keen Hearing, Keen Scent
Flaws: Lecherous, Country Bumpkin
Languages: Hindi
Equipment: Gada Mace (d6); Fist (d2); Kick (d3); Very Light Armor (d3-1)

Bontu Bhavsar / Lifeblood 11 / Villain Points 5 / Arcane Power 13
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 2 Mind 4 Appeal -1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 2 Defense 3
Careers: Sorcerer 3 Assassin 1 Scholar 1 Torturer 1
Boons: Magic of the Sorcerer Kings, Magic Resistance
Flaws: Poor Eyesight, Untrustworthy
Languages: Hindi
Equipment: Madu Dagger (d3) X2

Thuggee Cultists (Rabble) / Lifeblood 3 / Hero Points 0
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 1 Mind -1 Appeal -1
Combat Abilities: Brawl -1 Melee 1 Ranged 1 Defense -1
Careers: Assassin 0
Languages: Hindi
Equipment: Aruval Sword (d6-1); Chakram (d3); Light Armor (d6-2)

Bulusu Sunita Kal / Lifeblood 20
Attributes: Strength 3 Agility 3 Mind 0
Combat Abilities: Defense 2 Protection d3 (+1 for each sword not used to attack)
Attack with one Tulwar, +2; d6
Attack with two Tulwars, +0; d6 each
Attack with three Tulwars, -2; d6 each
Attack with four Tulwars, -4; d6 each

TFT: Against The Ifriti King

Wherein your humble scribe presents some experienced protagonists and an antagonist for The Fantasy Trip. You could turn this into a wee combat scenario if you were of a mind to. One of the various retroclones (like Legends of the Ancient World) should let you play this out if you don’t have TFT books handy.

These characters were created “by the book” with one key exception – I’ve built them using the Skill Points house rule used by my old group for years & years. The gist of this option is that instead of IQ serving as the point pool for buying Talents & Spells, you get your IQ plus the average of your ST and DX to spend (though you are still limited to a maximum number of Spells equal to your IQ). This lets characters be a little more well-rounded, without being particularly overpowered. Of course, TFT isn’t a game that really lends itself to characters being overpowered anyway.

Drawn from across the face of Cidri by forces beyond their comprehension, a disparate group of warriors and wizards finds themselves on a dangerous quest to defeat Tamir ibn Mu’tazz, the King of the Ifrit. Led by the noblewoman Takeda Mizuki, these unique individuals have faced numerous opponents and challenges as they have sought the palace of ibn Mu’tazz. Each hero stands ready to lay down his or her life to thwart the nefarious goals of the Ifrit.

If you’re going to give this a go as a combat scenario, treat Tamir ibn Mu’tazz as a 3-hex figure and allow him a 1-hex Green Slime, a 1-hex Silver Slime, and a 4-hex Goo as allies (stats below), thanks to his Ring of Slime & Goo Control.

The Villains

Tamir ibn Mu’tazz
ST 24 DX 16 IQ 20 MA 8/10 (40/20)
Sword, Charisma, Alertness, Acute Hearing, Diplomacy, Business Sense, Courtly Graces, Literacy, Recognize Value, Assess Value, Scholar
Fire, Speed Movement, Fireball, 3-Hex Fire, 7-Hex Fire, Create/Destroy Elemental
Chainmail (3), Scimitar of the Shayatin (2d6) allows a second attack each round at -4 DX, Amulet of Reverse Missiles, Ring of Slime & Goo Control

Green Slime
ST 14 DX 1 IQ 1 MA 2
Does 2 hits/turn once it engulfs a target by flowing into that creature’s hex.

Silver Slime
ST 18 DX 12 IQ 6 MA 6
Emits a lighting as the Lightning spell (i.e., 1d6/STR spent).

Goo
ST Nigh-Infinite DX N/A IQ 1 MA 4
Suffocates in 2 turns once it engulfs. Requires a 6 dice vs DX roll to hit the nucleus to kill.

The Heroes

Takeda Mizuki
ST 12 DX 15 (10) IQ 11 MA 6
Sword, Two Weapons, Courtly Graces, Diplomacy, Charisma, Tactics, Literacy, Horsemanship, Expert Horsemanship, Bow, Missile Weapons, Physicker, Sex Appeal, Alertness
Dou of Ama-Tsu-Mara (6), Katana (2d6), Wakizashi (2d6-1), Horse Bow (1d6), 20 Arrows

Black Crow
ST 11 DX 16 IQ 11 MA 12
Pole Weapons, Shield, Bow, Alertness, Missile Weapons, Tracking, Mimic, Silent Movement, Naturalist, Woodsman, Axe/Mace, Thrown Weapons, Animal Handler, Running
Small Shield (1), Spear (1d6/1d6+1), Bow of the Thunder Bird (1d6 + 3 pt lightning damage), 20 Arrows

Ultan MacEochagan
ST 10 DX 12 IQ 16 MA 10
Literacy, Sword, Bard, Seamanship, Sex Appeal
Light, Summon Wolf, Summon Myrmidon, Sleep, Summon Bear, Persuasiveness, Reveal/Conceal, Invisibility, Mage Sight, Magic Rainstorm, Control Person, Lightning, Glamor, Summon Giant
Silver Shortsword (2d6-1), Silver Dagger (1d6-1), Sapphire Eye of Manannan Mac Lir (5 ST Battery Gem)

Neferuptah
ST 15 DX 13 (12) IQ 10 MA 10
Sword, Axe/Mace, Shield, Warrior, Priest, Literacy, Acrobatics, Diplomacy, Naturalist
Light, Clumsiness, Blur, Aid
Cloth Armor (1), Shield of Horus (3), Hook Sword (2d6), Battle Axe (3d6)

Eratosthenes of Herapho
ST 11 DX 13 IQ 14 MA 10
Literacy, Architect/Builder, Scholar, Alchemy
Staff, Lock/Knock, Create Wall, Destroy Creation, Summon Gargoyle, 3-Hex Wall, Slippery Floor, Telekinesis, Control Elemental
Staff (1d6), Diamond Heart of Hephaestus (5 ST Battery Gem)

SciFi BoL Characters For Fun (But Not Profit)

Wherein your humble scribe presents a trio of NPCs for Barbarians of Lemuria… In Spaaaace!. These are put together mostly using the rules from Barbarians of the Aftermath and a few pulls from the other key BoL resources I’ve used before.

Traveling from the outer worlds to the Alliance capital aboard the tramp freighter Archilochus, Parjon Kelas (a minor noble with unique powers), Narsa Tash (a former slave from Aekos IV), and the disgraced boxerbot B0-RG9, are certainly bound for trouble. It’s in their nature.

Parjon Kelas / Lifeblood 10 / Hero Points 5 / Psychic Power 13
Attributes: Strength 0 Agility 0 Mind 2 Appeal 2
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 1 Defense 2
Careers: Noble 1, Psychic 1, Scholar 1, Chemist 1
Boons: Learned: History, Prismatic Soul
Flaws: Reluctant Fighter
Languages: Galactic Common, Aekosian, Fajash, Botic
Equipment: Blaster Pistol (d6+1)

Narsa Tash / Lifeblood 13 / Hero Points 6
Attributes: Strength 1 Agility 2 Mind 0 Appeal 1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 0 Melee 1 Ranged 2 Defense 1
Careers: Barbarian 2, Thief 1, Slave 1, Spacer 0
Boons: Hard-To-Kill, Lucky
Flaws: Savage
Languages: Aekosian
Equipment: Sword (d6+1)

B0-RG9 / Lifeblood 13 / Hero Points 5
Attributes: Strength 3 Agility 1 Mind 1 Appeal -1
Combat Abilities: Brawl 2 Melee 0 Ranged 0 Defense 2
Careers: Gladiator 2, Mechanic 1, Spacer 1, Priest 0
Boons: Self-Repair, Brawler
Flaws: Batteries Required
Languages: Botic, Galactic Common
Equipment: Fists (d3+3)

I’ve realized that I just don’t have the interest, inspiration or ambition to put together a proper BoL space game at the moment. But then again, with BotA handy there’s not much that needs to be done mechanically. I’ve decided that “Spacer” is a career in the same way that “Sailor” is in BoL. It covers piloting, general engineering, zero-g combat, and pretty much anything else you’d expect a person who has spent significant time in space travel to do.

You could certainly break these things down to “Pilot” and “Gunner” and other such things if you wanted to. But I think that pushes you closer to Traveller, et. al., and thus misses the point of the BoL system.

But that’s just me. And it’s not like I’m getting to play any of this anyway, so what do I know?

Heists For Fantasy Thieves

Wherein your humble scribe, drawing on the “All The Dice” random generator concept (tip of the hat to Grim), presents a random table for your nerdly needs.

My latest obsession/idea is an old school urban crime mini-campaign, something along the lines of the old Gamelords Thieves’ Guild RPG.

My first thought was to use Labyrinth Lord/AEC and break down the thieving skills a bit to turn that subsystem into something that players could customize to reflect their own individual thief’s specialties (sort like AD&D 2e did – but I don’t have those books handy to ~~steal from~~ reference). But when I started doing the math I quickly realized I’d be better off using a different system (one that was already skill-based).

So in rode BRP and the fabulous Classic Fantasy monograph (to be used if I feel the need to retain a degree of D&D style). If I ever make this get off the ground (and given my current levels of gamer ADD and the general scheduling issues with the folks I play with, that’s a dubious proposition) I’m going to need an idea generator for some thiefly adventures & heists. Hence, the tables below. Please feel free to make use of these in any way you see fit. Sharing makes the world go ’round!

Let’s Roll

Grab yourself a d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, and d20 and roll ’em. Check against the charts below and let your creativity fill things out as needed.

Location of item(s) to be liberated, 1d4

Temple or other religious/ceremonial building
Private residence (1d4: 1 lower class, 2 middle class, 3 upper class, 4 nobility)
Mercantile building (guildhall, apothecary, etc.)
Governmental building (military hq, prison, town hall, etc.)

Complications of the job, 1d6

No complications, job as described by the rest of the dice
Minor complications, roll for a second guardian for the item (now under double guard)
Major complications, roll for a second location (the item has been moved)
No complications, job as described by the rest of the dice
Serious complications, roll for two more guardians and a second location – the item(s) has been moved to a new location and is under a different kind of protection
It’s a setup! A double-cross! A trap! Everything proceeds normally, but something bad happens if the job is successful (not paid, guard alerted, the job is completely fake, etc.)

Method of payment for liberating the item(s), 1d8

No payment
Keep anything else you can take
Coin: ((2d4-1) X 10)% of item’s value
Coin: ((1d10+10) X 10)% of item’s value
A minor, limited-use magic item (potion of healing, etc.)
Information (a treasure map, the name of a spy, etc.)
Coins: (3d8 X 10) total gp value
Gems: (4d6 X 10) total gp value

Nature of the item(s) to be liberated, 1d10

Plain ol’ coin money
Magic item (weapon/armor/shield)
Religious relic
Gems or jewelry
Paperwork of significance
Object d’Art (statue/painting/etc.)
Symbolic item
Magic item (non-weapon)
Roll again twice using d8s
Roll again three times using d8s

Guardian of the item(s) to be liberated, 1d12

None
Locked chest/safe
Trapped & locked chest/safe
Magical wards
Generic human/demihuman guards
Tougher-than-generic human/demihuman guards
Natural animal(s)
Monster(s)
Undead
Demon/devil
Roll again twice using d10s
Roll again three times using d10s

Source of the job, 1d20

Professional connection (guild, crime family, etc.)
Freelance theft-for-hire (merchant, sailor, etc.)
Rumor/Innuendo/Legend
Personal Reasons (revenge, matter of honor, thrill seeking, etc.)
Religious connection (prelate with a problem, a favor for the god of thieves, etc.)
Professional connection (guild, crime family, etc.)
Freelance theft-for-hire (merchant, sailor, etc.)
Romantic connection (spouse, mistress, etc.)
Family connection (no-good brother-in-law, dying aunt, etc.)
Political connection (local political faction, foreign government, etc.)
Professional connection (guild, crime family, etc.)
Freelance theft-for-hire (merchant, sailor, etc.)
Rumor/Innuendo/Legend
Personal Reasons (revenge, matter of honor, thrill seeking, etc.)
Professional connection (guild, crime family, etc.)
Freelance theft-for-hire (merchant, sailor, etc.)
Military/Police connection (the corrupt sheriff, a questionable general, etc.)
Rumor/Innuendo/Legend
Professional connection (guild, crime family, etc.)
Freelance theft-for-hire (merchant, sailor, etc.)

Some Sample Heists

Your older brother offers to pay you a lot of money to break into the town armory and steal the enchanted Shield of the Sentinels. Of course, the armory is guarded by a pair of basilisks, but that’s not a problem for someone like you. You know he can afford what he’s offering; you just don’t know what he’s up to, which is planning on double-crossing you by turning you and the shield in for the reward to pay off his gambling debts.
Old Garril the Stonemason offers you a number of small diamonds he once found in a wall he was repairing to steal the sixteen large sapphires Korath the Bold recently donated to the Temple of Naali. These are locked in a chest stored within the high priest’s chambers.
You’ve heard a rumor that there’s a woman in Amberton who will pay a nice sum of money for a set of enchanted combs that are currently available in the shop of Forlburt the silversmith. The smith is a paranoid sort, who employs a small number of human guards and trained hounds to stand watch over his shop even as he locks all of his merchandise within a heavy (and trapped!) safe every evening.
Your guild or crime family needs you to break into the manor house of the Harbormaster and steal the ledgers for the last season’s shipping taxes. Your reward for pulling off this heist is the name and location of the man who killed your family when you were young. Everyone knows that the house is protected by magical wards. Not even your contact knows about the wraith that has been bound to guard the grounds.

S&W Appreciation: Rogues In The Gallery

Wherein your humble scribe presents a batch of characters for Swords & Wizardry Whitebox in honor of Swords & Wizardry Appreciation Day. You should have no trouble using these for any of the other flavors of S&W, though.

The party failed to run when they should have. Somebody just walked up and asked to join your public game. You need an NPC to befriend (or bedevil) your party. Whatever the reason, you need a character and your need it now.

Well have no fear, amigos. Strange Stones has made its name producing pre-made “rogues gallery” style characters for ye olde school and, just for you, here’s a passel you can pick from for your S&W game.

Fighters

Count Augerin Vonfred du Hoxenbury, The Pale Heir / Human Fighter 1 / Lawful
STR 15 INT 8 WIS 5 DEX 11 CON 16 CHR 9
HP 7 AC 4 [15] Save 14
Items: 35 gp, Chainmail, Shield, Spear, Hand Axe, Longsword

Dunthal Rockstomper / Dwarf Fighter 1 / Lawful
STR 14 INT 14 WIS 12 DEX 11 CON 12 CHR 6
HP 4 AC 4 [15] Save 14
Items: 32 gp, Chainmail, Shield, Light Crossbow, 30 Bolts, Hand Axe, Warhammer

Fletcher Dorthal of Mirington-upon-Wyestoke / Human Fighter 1 / Neutral
STR 11 INT 9 WIS 9 DEX 16 CON 9 CHR 15
HP 5 AC 5 [14] Save 14
Items: 73 gp, Chainmail, Short Bow, Quiver w/ 20 Arrows, 2 Silver Arrows, Short Sword, 3 Daggers

Astrabian Silvershine / Elf Fighter 1 / Neutral
STR 13 INT 11 WIS 10 DEX 11 CON 15 CHR 9
HP 3 AC 4 [15] Save 14
Items: 2 gp, Chainmail, Shield, Longbow, 20 Arrows, Longsword, Dagger

Sylvestri Mancuso, The Black Mercenary / Human Fighter 1 / Chaotic
STR 14 INT 11 WIS 12 DEX 12 CON 9 CHR 13
HP 5 AC 2 [17] Save 14
Items: 49 gp, Plate Mail, Shield, Flail, Hand Axe, Longsword

Alwynnia Moonstone / Elf Fighter 1 / Chaotic
STR 13 INT 15 WIS 13 DEX 8 CON 10 CHR 6
HP 2 AC 5 [14] Save 14
Items: 9 gp, Chainmail, Shortbow, 20 Arrows, Shortsword, Dagger

Clerics

Sister Catalina Rosarita Consuela Mendoza y Juarez / Human Cleric 1 / Lawful
STR 12 INT 11 WIS 16 DEX 10 CON 9 CHR 15
HP 4 AC 4 [15] Save 15
Items: 25 gp, Silver Holy Symbol, 1 vial of Holy Water, Chainmail, Shield, Mace

Brother Horace of Sherwylde Glen / Human Cleric 1 / Lawful
STR 9 INT 9 WIS 14 DEX 13 CON 13 CHR 10
HP 3 AC 4 [15] Save 15
Items: 14 gp, Silver Holy Symbol, 1 vial of Holy Water, Chainmail, Shield, Morningstar

Father Lars the Mountain Goat / Human Cleric 1 / Lawful
STR 6 INT 9 WIS 9 DEX 18 CON 16 CHR 9
HP 7 AC 6 [13] Save 15
Items: 13 gp, Wooden Holy Symbol, 1 vial of Holy Water, Leather Armor, Shield, Mace

Brother Ignacio Román Donatello, Initiate of St. Basil / Human Cleric 1 / Chaotic
STR 10 INT 14 WIS 14 DEX 9 CON 11 CHR 8
HP 2 AC 4 [15] Save 15
Items: 2 gp, Silver Holy Symbol, 1 vial of Holy Water, Chainmail, Shield, Flail

Selene Shelwyn, The Arm of St. Katerine of the Sea / Human Cleric 1 / Chaotic
STR 10 INT 7 WIS 13 DEX 10 CON 10 CHR 12
HP 5 AC 2 [17] Save 15
Items: 25 gp, Silver Holy Symbol, 2 vials of Holy Water, Plate Mail, Shield, Mace

Jean d’Urlan, Brewer Monk of the Parast Monastery / Human Cleric 1 / Chaotic
STR 10 INT 14 WIS 14 DEX 9 CON 18 CHR 10
HP 7 AC 6 [13] Save 15
Items: 18 gp, Wooden Holy Symbol, 1 vial of Holy Water, Leather Armor, Shield, Club

Magic-Users

Thorgald the Runereader / Human Magic-User 1 / Lawful
STR 11 INT 12 WIS 7 DEX 13 CON 13 CHR 12
HP 4 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Charm Person, Read Languages
Items: 109 gp, Staff

Orlanarian Treeflower / Elf Magic-User 1 / Lawful
STR 9 INT 16 WIS 11 DEX 12 CON 13 CHR 13
HP 2 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Detect Magic, Hold Portal
Items: 174 gp, 2 Daggers

Mbana Tenkanaka / Human Magic-User 1 / Neutral
STR 9 INT 14 WIS 12 DEX 14 CON 14 CHR 11
HP 5 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Detect Magic, Light
Items: 66 gp, Staff, Dagger

Halina Halx, Guardian of the Silver Gate / Human Magic-User 1 / Neutral
STR 10 INT 14 WIS 11 DEX 12 CON 9 CHR 15
HP 6 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Charm Person, Protection From Chaos
Items: 43 gp, Staff, 2 Daggers

Veridian Starlight / Elf Magic-User 1 / Chaotic
STR 12 INT 16 WIS 8 DEX 12 CON 9 CHR 14
HP 5 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Hold Portal, Sleep
Items: 76 gp, Staff, Dagger

Skag / Human Magic-User 1 / Chaotic
STR 10 INT 16 WIS 9 DEX 11 CON 15 CHR 9
HP 7 AC 9 [10] Save 15
Spells: Hold Portal, Light
Items: 80 gp, Staff, 3 Daggers

While You’re Here Looking At S&W Stuff…

Be sure to take a gander at the monsters I’ve put together for S&W as well. Although they’re not officially part of S&W Appreciation Day, you might just find something useful. These are ones I didn’t submit for the S&W Monster Book (now known as Monstrosities, apparently) back in the day.

Traveller: Pedro’s Angels

Wherein your humble scribe presents a group of characters for (classic) Traveller. All of these were rolled up by-the-book using Book 1: Characters And Combat and/or Supplement 4: Citizens of the Imperium.

Jaunting about the sector aboard his private yacht, El Alma y La Cruz, Baron Pedro Miguel Ramirez and his lovely companions (mís ángeles, he calls them wryly) take on missions and causes that otherwise might go unaided. The Baron feels that he and his friends are destined to help those who cannot otherwise help themselves. This sometimes puts the gang on the wrong side of the law, of course – especially when the law itself is the problem. But there’s something to be said for having strong ties to the Imperial family.

Baron Pedro Miguel Ramirez
89A86C Age 30 3 Terms (Service: Noble, Final Rank: Baron)
Hunting-1, AutoPistol-1, Bribery-2, Engineering-1, Pilot-1
Yacht
Cr250,000

Lady Solara Marte
5A348B Age 26 2 Term (Service: Noble, Final Rank: Knight)
Hunting-1, Hovercraft-1, Pilot-1, Jack of All Trades-1, AutoPistol-1
Cr150,000

April Murphree
958B37 Age 34 4 Terms (Service: Marines, Final Rank: Lieutenant)
Cutlass-1, Revolver-1, Mechanical-2, SMG-1, Ground Car-1, Jack of All Trades-1, Tactics-1, Electronics-1
Travellers’
Cr25,000

Louise Helms
3659A8 Age 34 4 Terms (Service: Scientist, Final Rank: -)
Computer-1, Survival-1, Navigation-1, Electronics-2, Jack of All Trades-1, AutoPistol-1, Medical-2
AutoPistol
Cr6,000