Wherein your humble scribe, unable to focus on anything he’s “seriously” working on, presents a trio of 7th edition Tunnels & Trolls characters and a new monster for the game.

Max – the exceptionally charmless leprechaun – winked back to the camp where Draago and Boris were waiting for his report. The dwarf and elf were, as usual, bickering about whose ancestors slew what dragon and which of their kings would win in an arm-wrestling match, if it were held on the second moon at noon on a Tuesday. They were so involved in this same old discussion that they didn’t even notice Max’s arrival. So he did what came naturally and began to insult them both so deeply and profanely that we simply can’t reprint his words here. After the two quarreling warriors finally calmed Max down he began to tell them what he’d seen.

“Sure’n the tunnel’s up there. Tha’ old man in the tavern wasna lyin’ – even though he were wearing a skirt. In any case, there’s tree large hives hanging down from the cave entrance. I cold just make out a few o’ them green bees he tol’ us about. I was thinking that if we used some fire to smoke ’em out…”

“NO!” cried Boris. “We can’t use fire! We might burn the trees or scare the squirrels and bambis!”

“Oh damn you and yer damn nature,” replied Draago. “I’m not going to get stung just because the critters out here might get upset over a little fire.”

“Well, y’see lads,” Max continued, “Here’s the problem. Just as I was about to pop back over here, a right big hoor of a troll came out of th’ cave, whacked the nests and went back inside. So the bees are buzzin’ all o’er the front of the cave noo.

“What a terrible creature! Using those poor little fuzzy bees for her own evil ends!” hissed the elf.

“No more terrible than yer own Queen Silvermoonleafraindrop. I’m sure you recall your own history well enough to remember when that foul witch enslaved a full army of…”

“Right! You two! Shut it! Noo! We’re going to have to face the damn bees, lads. Rather than goin’ on and on about your insipid histories, let’s figure out what we need to do to get inside tha’ cave and get our hands on herself’s piles o’ gold.”

Draago / Warrior / Dwarf / 2
STR 20 CON 24 DEX 11 SPD 13
INT 10 WIZ 8 LK 9 CHR 11

Height 3′ 7″ Weight 300 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +11

Talents Gambling 14
Languages Common, Dwarven

Wealth 10 gp
Dwarven War Axe (6d+13), Buckler (6), Soft Leather Armor (10)

Boris / Warrior / Elf / 1
STR 17 CON 10 DEX 15 SPD 10
INT 12 WIZ 30 LK 18 CHR 22

Height 6′ 1″ Weight 134 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +15

Talents Archery 20
Languages Common, Elven

Wealth 5 gp
Medium Longbow (4d+18) & Sheaf of Arrows, Broadsword (3d+24), Scale Mail (16)

Max / Wizard / Leprechaun / 2
STR 5 CON 13 DEX 15 SPD 9
INT 21 WIZ 15 LK 17 CHR 5

Height 2′ 7″ Weight 50 lbs.

Adventure Points 0
Combat Adds +4

Magic Wink-Wing (innate), All 1st Level Spells

Talents Persuasion 11
Languages Common, Leprechaun, 9 more

Wealth 100 gp
Shillelagh (2d+4), Brass Knuckles (2d+4), Quilted Silk Armor (3)

Hoolabee Swarm
Monster Rating: 44/ 88 / 176
Combat Dice: 5d6 +22 / 9d6 +44 / 18d6 +88
Special Damage: 1/2 Those Hoolabee stings sure do sting!
Special Abilities: Fly Me – Not surprisingly, Hoolabees can fly. Hard To Hit – Missile attacks against a Hoolabee Swarm are very difficult – double the level of the DEX save needed to hit them with such weapons.

Hoolabees are small, aggressive flying insects whose sting (which does not cause them to die) packs a painful punch. An individual hoolabee is about 1″ long and distinguished from other more common bees by the deep green “tufts” of fuzz that encircle their abdomens. The potency of a hoolabee swarm is entirely dependent upon its size.